Influencer Marketing

Connecting and Influencing Others

An Understanding of Our Emotional Intelligence

Recently, the All Inclusive Marketing team had the pleasure of training with Jenny Lewis from Lewco Consulting Inc. Jenny specializes in leadership development, learning solutions and management consulting and was incredibly insightful. Integrating neuroscience principles with leadership development, she works with her clients to craft and implement performance solutions that stick long term.

I was very excited to listen in on how we could improve our capacity to understand and improve the quality of our everyday interactions with others through emotional intelligence. We learned about our social brain and the importance of connectivity, how social threats and rewards affect relationships, how to connect more skillfully with others, and so much more.

If you’re wondering how all this is beneficial in the workplace and what it means for your affiliate recruitment strategies and influencer partnerships, I’ve put together a breakdown based off what we learned and how it can be used in the affiliate industry. You just might find a new way to grow within your own business and program.


Understanding the Brain

“Everything you do in life is based on your brain’s determination to minimize danger or maximize reward.” – Dr. Evian Gordan

This ‘fight or flight’ response we all get goes beyond being in possible physical harm. It happens in our everyday lives with simple conversations and interactions with people. Whether it’s a coworker, a new partner, or someone you are comfortable working with, these interactions can spark an emotional response that’s good or bad. Yes, this is common sense, but the neuroscience of this common knowledge is what we fail to understand and lose track of how to handle certain situations.

Our perception of a threat is handled by our Amygdala. Whether the threat is real or not, the Amygdala scans our past experiences and compares them to what’s happening in the present. These past events can distort our present situations by triggering the same emotional reaction from that old threat or danger. The Amygdala responds 80-100 times faster than the rational brain; therefore, we feel before we think.

So, if you perceive, a new affiliate or social influencer let’s say, as a challenge to work with; these feelings are probably mostly based off a similar instance where you felt “threatened”. If this emotion is not properly handled, then your reaction could cause some negative ramifications with this new partnership.

This is where your Emotional Intelligence (EQ) comes into play. You might think that you will be able to easily handle any situation professionally and maturely and there’s no doubt you could. That’s not to say that those negative feelings from your reaction aren’t still inside you and come into play every time you interact with this specific partner; and might gauge how you work with them.

Your brain will always go down the path of least resistance and is designed to predict patterns. This old brain of ours is instinctive and automatic, making it easy for emotions to override logic.


The Social Brain

Our default response to anything comes from our social brain. The networks within our brain for physical pain are the same networks used for social brain. With the sole purpose of our brain being survival, the brain relies on these networks to help guide situations.

From birth, we require social connection. It’s fundamental to how humans work – social reward is hardwired into us.


The Social Brain and Business

Plain and simple, social motivation matters in the workplace. We interact with our professional social group (i.e. coworkers, clients, affiliates, etc.) more than our personal social group and a true connection with both is critical for our wellbeing. The feeling of exclusion can be detrimental due to this social connection that we desire. It can cause us to lose focus and can actually reduce our intellectual capacity. With an unparalleled capacity for collaboration, pro-social motivation can enhance our productivity.


Understanding Our Motivation with SCARF

Learn what motivates you and build your EQ with SCARF. Having a better understanding of what motivates us emotionally will increase our ability to build up our relationships.

Status – is about relative importance to others and how we think others see us.
Certainty – concerns being able to predict the future.
Autonomy – provides a sense of control over events. Even perceiving that we have control can alter both our stress level and perspective.
Relatedness – is a sense of safety & belonging with others. Friend vs. Foe.
Fairness – is a perception of fair exchanges between people.


Increasing your Emotional Intelligence

In business it’s about the relationships we build and having that understanding of your EQ will in turn help your business/program grow.

For example, partnerships are a relationship first and foremost. These affiliates are not required to promote and the relationship you and your brand build with your affiliates and consumers matter. Knowing what motivates you will only help you build stronger relationships with your affiliates and social influencers. If a publisher feels comfortable with you and seems like you really care and are listening to them, they will want to promote your brand for increase product exposure and continue working with you closer. That social acceptance they feel from you could be the motivation they are looking for.


Increasing your EQ and understanding your motivation isn’t something that comes quick, but it can be learned. A few things to ask yourself when trying to understand what motivates you emotionally are…

• What’s your driver?
• Where can you apply it with your publishers?
• How does this change your perspective on relationships?
• How can you take advantage of the instinctive desire for acceptance professionally?


Building your EQ has many benefits. It can affect your performance at work, your physical health, as well as your mental health. When your stress levels go up; your EQ goes down. With a higher EQ, you will have the capability to manage and control your emotions. You will also possess the ability to control the emotions of others as well.

There are 5 main elements of a higher EQ.
1. Self-Awareness
2. Self-Regulation
3. Motivation
4. Empathy
5. Social Skills


Being mindful of the above elements and knowing your “SCARF” will help to navigate new and existing relationships.

Our system isn’t programmed to be in a constant fight or flight mode (i.e. threat vs. reward). Chronic stress, especially on the job, can lead to several health issues and turnover. Having a high EQ and being mindful can assist in preventing and/or solving these issues.


In Conclusion

It’s hard to move forward in life, work, relationships, etc. when you don’t feel right. Enhancing our EQ will alleviate the burden our social brain can take. We have 100% control of our reactions and 0% control of other’s reactions. Having that control of your social brain will allow you to think clearer, stay focused, and grow personally and professionally.

Remember: Where attention goes, energy flows.


I hope you enjoyed this subject as much as I have and hopefully learned something too. If you would like to get started on learning more about your own EQ, get a FREE assessment that’s recommended by Harvard Business Review here.

If you would like to discuss more on this topic and/or see how you can implement these findings into your program, please feel free to contact us. We will be happy to get you started on maximizing your Influencer Integration and help improve your Diversified Recruitment efforts.

Ashley Klotz

Ashley Klotz

With 12+ years in marketing across a variety of verticals, Ashley brings a robust viewpoint to the creative side of affiliate and partnership marketing. With a knack for writing and her people skills, content marketing, and customer retention have been at the forefront of her success.